Vazquez Counseling

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

In my work as a counselor, I often talk to my clients about things they can do to deal with any emotional pain they are going through. Often, my clients are dealing with depression (a lack of joy) or anxiety (a lack of peace). I use several therapeutic techniques to help clients find solutions to the problems (or the chaos) in their lives.

Part of the treatment plan that I write collaboratively with my clients includes positive skills they can use to overcome the symptoms and behaviors listed in their treatment goals. When I write this section of the treatment plan, it is vitally important that my clients give their input. I’ve told clients that several effective ways to improve their mental health functioning are to do the things they enjoy. I can suggest a million things for my clients to enjoy, but the activities need to come from them, to greatly improve the chances that they will actually do them. In working with my clients over the last 24 years, I’ve realized that the number of coping strategies that can help my clients feel better and recover from mental health issues is only limited by their imagination. Therapy is often not just talking about my clients’ poor mental health, but rather talking about their lives, their families, their friends, and the things they enjoy doing. I can’t tell you how many of my clients come into session feeling depressed and anxious and walk out of session feeling much better after we spent an hour talking about their life and the fun they with family and friends, or whatever brings them joy in life.

With children, the most effective way of doing psychotherapy is by doing play therapy. Play is the universal language of children. I can almost guarantee you that in countries where there is a war going on right now, you can find children playing in the streets.

Because children love to play, and it re-energizes them, schools have recess and long lunch periods so they can do just that. I remember when I was in elementary school, and it would rain. our teachers would bring out a ton of board games, and we would all spend our lunch hour playing games indoors. I actually would look forward to rainy days because I got to play all sorts of board games with my friends.

Since play is the primary language of children, it stands to reason that supportive play therapy can help a child overcome mental health issues. I include parents in the play therapy because it is one of the best ways to rebuild a relationship between the child and their parent. I often have parents who don’t initially see the value of playing with their children. Once they do, however, they figure out that their children have always wanted their parents to play with them. Almost all of the parents I have worked with, when they play with their children in session, end up loving it, and they often decide to buy the games that I have so they can enjoy them at home with their child and their siblings.

There is a kind of play therapy for adults that I have discovered that works wonders for their mental health. It is supportive talk therapy, which can help clients figure out many things in their lives that are out of order and put them back in order. I have found that when clients are allowed to tell their story, without anyone judging them, they heal from things like depression, anxiety, or trauma, and many other emotional problems.

In narrative therapy, I allow clients to tell me their story of trauma, sometimes many times over. In telling their story, they heal. What I have discovered is that after people have repeatedly told their stories of difficult situations in their lives, then the that narrative becomes just a story, and it loses its power to hurt them. This has also been true in my life.

If you have ever attended an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, you will find that it is a group of people who repeatedly tell the stories of their past with alcohol (or whatever the addiction was) and also the stories of how they achieved their sobriety. After a while, these stories no longer have the power to harm the person who is telling them. People who are in AA often help others by sharing their experiences. Many times, there are newcomers to these groups, and it is extremely helpful to hear from someone who has walked where the newcomer currently walks.

At the onset of therapy with my clients, I inform them of what we will do in their counseling. I tell them, if all we do is talk about your anxiety and depression, or whatever the mental health issue is, even I would get depressed or anxious. I tell them I will always check in with you about your mental health, and if we end up talking about strategies to help improve your mental health for the whole session, then so be it because that is obviously what you needed. I also tell my clients that they are free to talk about whatever they want, for that is the essence of supportive talk therapy. Talk therapy does for adults what play therapy does for children. I have spent entire sessions talking with my clients about the things they enjoy. This way of doing therapy is essentially what makes it therapeutic. As my clients tell me their stories, whatever those stories entail is what they need to talk about, so they can feel better. Mental health, physical health, emotional health, relational health, spiritual health, whatever my clients need, is what I’m here to help them achieve. As a counselor, I learn something new everyday from my clients. and I love that aspect of my work, because it means that I get to grow alongside my clients.