God Centered Marriage
Hi, I’m Manny. Since 2002, I’ve counseled individuals, couples and families. This page of my website will be dedicated to posts about couples. I believe that God should be at the center of every couple relationship. Here, I will talk about how to practically make that happen.
Centered on God as a Couple
The Bible is clear that marriage was created by God. In Genesis 2:24, God says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (NKJV)” In Matthew 19:4-6, our LORD Jesus reiterates the point, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. (NKJV)”
Couples who rely on God, those who trust in God to guide them through the various trials that can befall a Husband and Wife, are usually at peace with each other and with the world around them. We can all have times in our lives when we are depressed or anxious, but God is the Great Physician and the Wonderful Counselor. If we ask the Holy Spirit, He will guide us through life’s difficulties. We need to listen to God on a regular basis. May I suggest that you and your spouse spend regular times of devotion. Read a passage in the Bible and read Gospel centered books or devotions. Learn to tune in to God by focusing on His Word, and you will see that He will guide you in your marriage.
The Truth of a Christian Family
At the center of every Christian Family is the married couple. And God should be at the center of every Christian marriage. It is God Who shows us the way to a fulfilled life, so it is God Who shows us the way to a fulfilled marriage. There are many broken marriages in Christianity, but it doesn’t have to be this way. In Ephesians 5:17-21, Paul the Apostle wrote, “Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. (NKJV)” Note what he says here, that we should submit to one another in the fear of God.
Then come the verses that so many take out of context, Ephesians 5:22-24 (NKJV), “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” Many people stop there, and it has led to the perception by many outside the Church that Christians believe that women should be subject to men and not be respected.
But, as always, we need to read Bible passages in context. Paul goes on to say in Ephesians 5:25-33, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (NKJV)”
It is clear from this final passage that Husbands are to love their Wives sacrificially, in the same way that Christ loves us. That is a tall order indeed! I believe that the only way a Wife can truly submit to her Husband is if he is first submitted to God and he loves her sacrificially. This all presupposes that we are dealing with a Christian married couple. In a Christian marriage, the Husband should cherish his Wife above all else, other than God, and the Wife should respect her Husband wholeheartedly, and only God can show us how to truly do this.
Our Roles as Husbands
The Bible teaches that we have at least four main roles as Husbands. These can be derived from the role that God Himself plays in our lives. First, we are the Protectors of our Family. God has always protected His people, even if He has to protect them from themselves. Second, we are to be the Providers for our Family. God has always provided what we need. Third, we are the Pursuers of our Wife. God has always pursued us, never the other way around. If you need an example, consider the fact that Jesus chose all of His disciples; none of them chose Him first. And finally, we are called to be the Priests of our Family, leading and guiding them spiritually, as God leads and guides us. These are the four P’s of what it means to be a good Christian Husband. As we saw in my previous post on this page, our marriages should be a reflection of the relationship between Jesus Christ and His people. Jesus lived, died, and rose again that we might share eternal life with Him. He sacrificed everything for us, and as Christian Husbands, we should be willing to do the same for our Wife and children.
Vazquez Counseling 